About Us

We are nobody,
and we do it
together.

fugjoo.com was founded on a simple principle: if you build something that does nothing and market it well enough, someone will give you money. So far, 3 people have. We're targeting 4 by Q3.

Our mission, should we choose to accept it.

To synergize paradigms, disrupt buzzwords, and leverage core competencies across multi-stakeholder ecosystems while maintaining a customer-centric approach to doing absolutely nothing of value. We believe in a future where every problem can be solved by a SaaS subscription, even problems that don't exist yet. Especially those.

Things we pretend to believe in.

01

Radical Transparency*

We are transparent about everything except our finances, our tech stack, our roadmap, our hiring, our churn rate, and what Dave does all day. Everything else: fully transparent.

*terms apply
02

Customer Obsession**

We are obsessed with our customers. We think about them constantly. Mostly at 3 AM when we wonder why they haven't churned yet. It keeps Dave up at night. Dave is our only employee.

**there are 3
03

Move Fast & Break Things***

We moved fast. We broke things. Everything is broken. We can't fix it because we moved too fast and now nobody understands the codebase. The codebase is 12,000 lines of TODO comments.

***all things broken
04

Diversity & Inclusion

Our team is incredibly diverse: Dave is from Ohio, the Magic 8-Ball was manufactured in China, and the office plant is from IKEA. Together, we represent 3 continents and one kingdom (Plantae).

equal opportunity

The entire team.

All two of us. Plus the plant. The plant is non-binary and we respect that.

D
Dave
CEO / CTO / CFO / CMO / Janitor
Dave does everything. Dave is everything. Before fugjoo.com, Dave was a middle manager at a company that no longer exists. He lists "synergy" as a skill on LinkedIn. He works for equity. The equity is worth nothing. Dave is happy.
8
Magic 8-Ball
Head of Analytics / Board Member
The 8-Ball joined in Q3 2020 and immediately made all strategic decisions. Its predictions are accurate approximately 50% of the time, which is 50% better than Dave. It is a contractor and does not receive equity or health insurance.
P
Greg (the plant)
Chief Sustainability Officer
Greg is responsible for our carbon-neutral status. He absorbs approximately 0.003 kg of CO\u2082 per year, which we use to offset our entire operation including Dave's gaming PC. Greg is the most productive member of the team.
?
We're Hiring
Literally Anyone Please
We have one open position: "Person Who Does Things While Dave Stares At The Architecture Diagram." Compensation: exposure and leftover conference swag. Must bring own laptop. Dave broke the company one.

Want to join the team?

We can't pay you but you can put "Chief of Nothing" on your LinkedIn.