Contact

Get in touch.
We won't respond.

We'd love to hear from you. Unless you're a customer needing support, an investor wanting updates, a journalist asking questions, or a lawyer serving papers. In those cases, Dave is "in a meeting" indefinitely.

01 / Reach Us

Contact info.

General Inquiries

Email[email protected]*
Phone+49 30 0000 0000**
Faxlol, fax?
Carrier PigeonN 52\u00b031' E 13\u00b024'

Support

Email[email protected]***
HoursTue 3-4am (CET)
Response6-8 business decades
Live ChatDave (when awake)

Office

AddressDave's Couch, Ohio
HoursBy appointment****
ParkingStreet (bring quarters)
* We read emails on the 3rd Tuesday of odd-numbered months.
** This number is not real. Like our product.
*** Support inbox last checked: Q2 2024.
**** Appointments are not available. Like our product.
02 / Form

Send us nothing.

By submitting this form, you agree to our Terms (whatever), Privacy (lol), and Cookies (nom). Your data will be stored in Dave's notebook, which is on his couch.